Obama Bails Out of Democrat Party: Supporters Stunned

“To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history.”

-Obama Inaugural Address

There is only one way to explain these words from Obama: A miracle has taken place. For the first time in history, an incoming president switches parties on his Inauguration Day. Democrats and Republicans alike are stunned.

Senator Tom Coburn told reporters, “Well, it does come as quite a shock. Um, honestly, we aren’t sure what to do with him. We don’t know if his policies are the same or…I mean, we really wanted him to succeed.”

“I’m not surprised,” quipped Harry Reid to the New York Times, “He presented himself well, but given his roots, it just isn’t surprising.”

Insiders are speculating that Obama’s warning to those who “cling to power through corruption and deceit” is aimed at the likes of Christopher Dodd, Barney Frank, Bill Richardson, Timothy Geithner, and Bill and Hillary Clinton.

While no one really knows for sure who President Obama is targeting, it has been reported that Office Depot has had a sharp increase in the sales of paper shredding machines.

When asked what she thought Obama meant when he warned against the “silencing of dissent”, Nancy Pelosi replied, “Shut up!”

Obama’s switching of parties has been blamed for the cancellation of many inaugural parties around the country. In West Hollywood, however, the festivities were still on, but the mood was more somber than expected. “This just isn’t the kind of change we voted for,” sniffed a sad, but fairly drunk Obama supporter.

And how is Obama’s biggest fan base, the Hollywood elite, taking the news?

“I’m angry and very disappointed. I really had high hopes for President Obama. I really believed that he would put an end to those mean-spirited *&%#)@ conservatives and their hate speech. This is all Bush’s fault,” said Whoopi Goldberg.

After stopping his plans to close Gitmo, Obama is rumored to be planning a sweep of the major media outlets. According to press secretary Gibbs, “He wants to ensure that the way McCain and Palin were treated by the media doesn’t happen again.”