Category: Liberalism Run Amuck

Violence Prevention in Palm Beach Goes Minority Report

Palm Beach County Sheriff Gets $1-Mil for Crime Prevention

Thanks to Palm Beach County Sheriff, Ric Bradshaw, crime prevention could be broadened to “knocking” on the doors of people who have been narced on by their neighbors and friends are suspected of saying the truth hateful things about the government.

While Boston Grieves, Denver Lights Up For Hemp Day

Is it just me, or do we have a priority problem in this country? I’m referring to the gonge-saturated 80,000 who gathered in Denver near the capital to flaunt getting away with (illegally) smoking weed in public, when less than a week ago Boston was the target of a terrorist attack and a bloody manhunt.

Didn’t there used to be some sort of waiting period after a national tragedy before we continued with our debauchery? Like maybe a month, or so? Or at least after the funerals? Or did that level of decency go out of vogue along with opposite sex marriage and earning a living?

Boston Hides, COEXIST Fails, Dad Blames, and Putin Advises: Boston Update

News out of Boston is coming fast and furious.

COEXIST Crowd Gets a Reality Check

If there is anything to snicker about concerning Boston, (and, really there isn’t) it would be that the on-the-lam terrorist, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, carjacked a car with a COEXIST bumper sticker on it.

Really.

I’d wax eloquent about the irony of having a murderous terrorist steal a car from the tolerance police, but I’ve already done as much here.

No doubt the owner of the COEXIST-mobile, if given the chance, could have talked Tsarnaey out of stealing the car, or at least into giving Tsarnaey a ride. But really, no one laughs at those insipid stickers more than (me) Islam.

Translating COEXIST

While, like liberals, these bumper stickers used to be an occasional annoyance, now these presumptuous little mini-sermons are popping up everywhere. Interestingly, they are on cars that are also sporting “Obama ’08”, “Obama Is My Home Boy”, and “Honk If You Love Socialism” bumper stickers.

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume this subtle, yet inane, message is for the benefit of the Bible-clinging, gun-toting right wingers. Thanks, got it.

Ignorance and the Party Line: A Liberal Conundrum

It started with this:

If this woman hasn’t been given a few cardboard boxes in which to place her belongings, then the Dems are behind schedule on this intervention. The modus operandi for the Party when one of their own, especially a rookie lemming, looks overtly ignorant is to distance themselves. Once this is passive-aggressive avoidance technique is accomplished, the unwitting (that’s “witless”) offender gets the sudden urge to change vocations.

I’m giving her about two weeks to decide a career in the culinary arts is more her speed.

Michelle Malkin » Kyl: Yes, Peggy, Arizona is a border state

Alba Works Tirelessly to Save Oklahoma’s Shark Population

Once again, a Hollywood “ecophile”, this one being Jessica Alba, has raised awareness of another injustice perpetrated against the animal kingdom: The rampant and unconscionable killing of sharks in Oklahoma. Seriously. You can’t make this *&#^ up.

Hoping to raise public awareness about the plight of Oklahoma’s sharks, Alba plastered shark posters around Oklahoma City. This action was met with mixed reviews by Oklahoma residents.

According to Oklahoma City Chief of Police, William City, “We have been trying for years to shut down the underground shark-fighting ring in this area, but until Ms. Alba raised awareness of the problem, we had gotten nowhere. Blowing the cover off this scandal makes the Michael Vick bust look like small potatoes.” (This was followed by a rather obvious eye roll.)

When asked about the charges against Alba for defacing public property, the chief replied, “Well, a little public defacement is a pretty small price to pay for the lives of Oklahoma’s shark population, don’t you think? As for that United Way sign, heck, they can always replace the billboard, but a shark’s life? Well, that can’t be replaced.”

Many Oklahomans are offended by Alba’s vandalism disguised as activism. “She’s just another Hollywood wing-nut trying to jam another stupid cause down our throats,” said one resident.

A local grocer added, “Shark advocacy? In Oklahoma? Does she even know her geography?”

And this from the man who has been tasked with scraping, not one, but three posters off a utility box in Bricktown, “What are the odds that that shark-loving mental giant will help scrape the posters off this utility box?”

But Alba has had support for her actions. The PETA representative for central Oklahoma commented, “Um, I wasn’t aware we had a shark abuse problem around here, but I’m not surprised.”

And Alba’s co-workers are standing by her as well. “I, for one, applaud her courage and tenacity. We need more people like Jessica to speak up for those who can’t speak up for themselves. These dumb Okies need to be held accountable for their part in the torture of sharks.”

Alba has apologized for her actions, a move that has reportedly left her in bad standing with shark advocates world wide.

“Its hard to balance my responsibilities to my fans, the animals we share this planet with, and the citizens of this global village. I am truly sorry I offended the people of Oklahoma.”

Alba’s agent has stated that the negative press in Oklahoma has forced her to cancel her Alligator Awareness rally in Omaha, Nebraska.

How To Spot a Terrorist Threat: A Liberal Primer

Napolitano and Obama demonstrating how to turn your neighbor in to Homeland Security. “We believe in total anonymity. Just point to your pro-life neighbor or the retired veteran in the grocery store and we’ll take care of the rest.”

For anyone who might be a little fuzzy on Janet Napolitano’s inter-office memo about the dangers of living next door to a military veteran, a pro-lifer, or anyone who actually views the Constitution as something more than a waste of a perfectly good tree, I offer these snippets from the book, A Liberal’s Guide To Terrorism: Can You Spot a True Threat To America?

#1 Any former member of the military who has served this country and kept Americans safe from harm, foreign and domestic: Threat

Homeland Security Action Plan: Full body cavity search of any veteran (real or imagined) before boarding an airplane. Monitor all VA loans to be sure they aren’t living too large. Limit veteran to one bag of fertilizer per year. Make them pay for their own medical care. Wire tap all American Legion and USO facilities. Direct Hollywood to make more movies depicting war vets as misguided losers who hate America (Contact Sean Penn). President Obama to make frequent visits around the world repenting of the existence of an American Military.

#2 People from other countries who have flown airplanes into the buildings of major American cities and killing thousands: Not a Threat.

These people are our friends; besides, we deserved it. They will be allowed, kufis, hajibs and all, to board any aircraft free from the fear of being unfairly profiled or cavity searched. Approximately $20 million in stimulus money allotted to resume flight classes in Norman, Oklahoma starting in 2010. $5 million in stimulus money for iPods, prayer rugs, and weekend passes for detainees in Guantanamo Bay. President Obama to make frequent visits to said countries for the purpose of repenting the existence of an infidel America.

#3 People from our own country who have bombed government buildings and called themselves “The Weatherman”: Not a Threat.

Dissent is patriotic for socialist sympathizers. President Obama to make frequent visits to said person’s home and deny the existence of a friendship.

#4 People who fight for the rights of unborn human beings. Threat.

Homeland Security Action Plan: Using Pelosi’s Economic Abortion Stimulus Plan, the government will extol the virtues of having only .5 children, raise taxes on married people with more than .5 children, and jail doctors who refuse to work toward the United State’s new goal birth rate of .5 children per year. Bankrupt Nestle Corporation (owner of Gerber foods), bail them out, change baby food jar label from healthy, chubby-cheeked little tyke to picture of malnourished third-world baby. New slogan for Gerber: “Fewer American Babies For a Better World”.

#5 People who legislate and/or perform the wholesale slaughter of millions of unborn humans: Not a Threat.

Less people make for a smaller carbon footprint. It’s about plants, stupid, not people.

#6 People who claim the right to bear arms: Threat.

Homeland Security Action Plan: Ban gun ownership. This to include: semi-automatics, hand guns, shot guns, paintball guns, air soft guns, water guns, glue guns, and those highly dangerous guns for children with the bright orange plug on the end of the barrel. Tax Ted Nugent out of the country. Report all cars brandishing an NRA bumper sticker to the Homeland Security hot line. President Obama to make frequent trips to Mexico to blame America for the violence in Mexico, and, of course, repent of America’s very existence.

#7 People who refer to our government as “The Collective” and call one another “Comrade”: Not a Threat.

It’s high time the proper verbiage was used around this country.

Could Mary Jane Bail Out California?

Marijuana Revenue Could Bail Out California

Whining over the huge taxes that aren’t being collected from the lucrative dime-bag business, liberals propose legalizing Mary Jane.

This goes beyond ludicrous, but it is a liberal idea so it’s not at all surprising. If pot is legalized it will, no doubt, be regulated. And if pot is regulated that means our government will go into the hemp business.

Enter the hemp czar…but he’ll have a less street-trashy name like Chairman of Cannabis Stabilization.

I think drug dealers should lobby congress to make sure this doesn’t happen. Hundreds, no, thousands of seasoned drug dealers could be put out of business by a bunch of rank amateurs in suits. And considering the track record of the government, odds are they’ll keep all the good stuff for themselves and sell the average American the stinky weed.

Liberalism: Another Primer

More from a history textbook that will never grace the hallowed halls of a public school:

What phenomenon at the beginning of the 20th century threatened to destroy the roots of Western civilization?

Liberalism

Define modern liberalism.

Modern liberalism is the desire to be free from absolute standards and morals, especially those of the Scriptures.

To what end does modern liberalism lead?

Modern liberalism usually leads to the imposed restraints of government control over many aspects of life, resulting in the transfer of responsibility from the individual to the state.

(Given the trail Obama is blazing, look for a primer on fascism in the near future.)

And my mantra remains the same: If you are ignorant of history, you will be doomed to repeat it. Thanks to the ignorance epidemic in this country (and thank you public education), Obama’s plans to turn this country into a socialist state will, no doubt, come to fruition.

According to The Heritage Foundation, President Reagan Saw This Coming

Too bad the rest of America doesn’t.

Obama’s Obots: A Primer

Ann Coulter: More Boos Than Balls

Well, if booing an outgoing president and singing, “Na Na Na Na, Hey, Hey, Hey! Good-bye!” at an inauguration is any indication, then I’d say the mature part of Obama’s presidency has begun.

Let’s meet the clowns who will be running the show for the next…who knows how long.

For grins, we’ll start with the Black Panthers, those swarthy young gentlemen who felt it their job to secure everyone’s right to feel intimidated at the polls.

Job Title: Homeland Security

Responsibilities:

1. In charge of recruiting and training.

2. Helping elderly white women across the street.

3. Voter security.

4. Affirmative action coordinators.

Required for Job: Vote for Obama. Hate white people. Own a cool pair of really dark shades (This is necessary for responsibility #2. Dark shades make white people look less…white.); Clothing from local Army-Navy Surplus.

Next on the roster are the sweaty-palmed Democrats in congress. And leading this gaggle of hapless liberal malcontents is Nancy Pelosi.

Job Title: Speaker of the House. Resident shrew.

Responsibilities:

1. Silence the minority.

2. Erase Second Amendment from Constitution.

3. Scribble on bottom of existing constitution: “No party, other than the Democratic Party is permitted to campaign or run candidates for election.” Forward this to the people of Minnesota.

4. Employing the tactic of, Anything Said Enough Times Becomes Truth, use the terms “people’s republic” and “democratic republic” liberally.

5. Kill conservative talk radio. (Call it the Fairness Doctrine.)

Required for the Job: Understand the dynamics of a One Party System (see Cuban constitution); Eraser for responsibility #2; Sharpie for responsibility #3.

And let’s not forget those haters of sunshine and warm (and cold) weather, the newest generation of malcontents -The Environmentalists.

Job Title: Environmental Protection Agency; Trash Czar; Green Police; Boil on the Butt of Humanity; Bunny Advocate; Light Bulb Patrol Officer; Dolphin Whisperer; Ozone Officer; Hysteria Coordinator (Job titles are relative to region and task at hand.)

Responsibilities:

1. Ensure car companies go bust.

2. Bankrupt the coal industry.

3. Ensure every home is equipped with compact florescent light bulbs containing mercury which cannot be disposed of.

4. Brainwash public into believing any car bigger and more powerful than a lawnmower is harmful for the environment.

5. Outlaw cars bigger and more powerful than a lawnmower.

6. Convince the public that nuclear power is inefficient.

7. Convince the public that large, expensive, inefficient windmills are efficient.

8. Distribute Al Gore posters and busts for every American classroom.

9. Repeat, ten times daily, the mantra, “Global Warming Exists, Global Warming Exists…”

10. Send vouchers for Tree Hugging Arm Protection Tubes to every American.

Required for the Job: Hemp clothing; Complete and utter disdain for Capitalism; Unconscienable ignorance of science; Must be member of Al Gore Fan Club; Must posses an ability to ignore facts and reinvent the truth; Must own a hybrid; Personal hygiene is optional.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Obama’s biggest fan base and purveyor of anti-American celluloid, Hollywood.

Job Title: Actor; Actress; Moral Compass; UN Ambassador Alternate

Responsibilities:

1. Play roles in movies that you malign in real life (war heroes, presidents, working folk).

2. Save poor countries by adopting and over-indulging their children.

3. Bad mouth Bush. (Anything that goes wrong will still be his fault.)

4. Look serious and reflective at all times even though you haven’t a thought in your head.

5. Learn to act.

6. Produce and star in movies/TV shows that promote homosexuality, teen-age sex, extra-marital affairs, pregnancy outside of marriage, and the notion that Bret Michaels really will find his true love this season.

7. Make movies in which Christians are idiots.

8. Fly, as a self-proclaimed foreign minister, to an impoverished country for a photo-op with an impoverished child to raise awareness that their are impoverished children in impoverished countries. Leer jet, Pellegrino water, camera crew, 5-star Hotel on the beach of said country, and en route catered meal will be provided.

9. Wear an Obama T-shirt or button at least once a week.

Required for the Job: Marginal acting skills; A cursory knowledge of the political process in Cuba; Total and utter disdain for Republicans and Conservatism; Schmoozing dictators of countries that hate America is required; Must have pet; Must have a pet cause (Available causes can be found at pamelaandersondoeschicken.com.); Must have a SAG card (Voter registration marked “Democrat” will be an acceptable alternative after January 21, 2009); The ability to live large while making America feel guilty for being so greedy; Marriage is accepted on a case by case basis. Live in lovers and illegitimate children are preferred; Must posses the ability to take yourself way too seriously.

And there you have it: The wing nuts who ascended the throne while booing an exiting president (who, by the way, kept their collective a**es out of a terrorists sling for the last seven years). Contrary to what they believe, character speaks volumes, and these clowns are completely devoid of it.