Month: January 2008

Escape From Gansta Land: Comments Inspired by a Book I Haven’t Read

Whenever I get a chance to write about public education in America, I jump on it like Harry Reid on a patriot. Today’s inspiration comes from Mike LaSalle’s podcast of Bernard Chapin’s book, Escape from Gangsta Island. I haven’t read the book, but I’m planning on listening to the podcast…mainly to hear what LaSalle sounds like…

This is the extent of what I know about Gansta Island: (This in-depth research courtesy of the “Editorial Reviews” section at Amazon.”)

Is it surprising to learn that there is a school in the United States where the principal gives away semiautomatic rifles to retiring school personnel? Or where the person in charge is so devoid of common sense that she allows combustible engines to run in enclosed areas in the presence of students?

First of all, semiautomatic weapons given to retiring teachers? That is moronic. Common sense dictates that those guns should be given to new teachers upon arrival, not to those who are leaving the pub-ed gun and knife clubs.

In this astonishing true story, author Bernard Chapin reveals what happened when a once proud school was placed into the hands of a principal with a personality disorder. The administrators of the district, rather than acknowledge their mistake in hiring the principal, work indefatigably to cover her misdeeds while dismissing longtime employees who become aware of her illness.

I’m not sure any good satirical writer worth his salt could pass this up:

In this astonishing true story, author Bernard Chapin reveals what happened when a once proud nation was placed into the hands of a president with a personality disorder. The MSM, Democratic voters, and DNC, rather than acknowledge their mistake in voting for the president, work indefatigably to cover his/her misdeeds while killing (or pardoning) longtime employees who become aware of his/her illness.

Some writing opportunities come gift-wrapped.

The school soon becomes a place where education is dumbed down, graduations increase due to less restrictive requirements, and every misdeed is excused for the sake of the kids.

Yea, right. Like this is the only school this happens in. Look around this country, it doesn’t take a certifiable whack job sitting in the principal’s chair to accomplish this. This is standard operating procedure in America’s schools and, NEWSFLASH, the libs brag about it.

And from that scant bit of research (into Biden’s book), I start my tirade. (Cut me some slack, I’ve seen Democrats show up for debates with less preparation.)

First of all, the public schools don’t need fixing. So don’t dismiss my points by saying “Nothing is perfect.” Ask a liberal, the schools are fine just the way they are. In fact, they are functioning exactly the way they were intended to function. You could say they’re darn near perfect. Don’t believe me? Read John Taylor Gatto’s book, The Underground History of America’s Education. Don’t worry, you won’t be mistaken for a home schooler if you’re caught reading it. Gatto doesn’t even promote home school in his book. But if you’re going to feed your little minions to the wolves, it’s best to understand the pack. By the way, Gatto’s book is the size of the Manhattan Yellow Pages. Get a snack. If you prefer a Cliff Note sized version, try Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling.

Conspiracy theories aside, public education in America today has a pretty creepy agenda. And that agenda is the impetus behind every curriculum and every program implemented by the National Education Association’s lackeys.

First and foremost on their list of things to do: Keep churning out a liberal voting base completely incapable of critical thought. (Critical thinking is highly discouraged unless the kiddos are being schooled in the art of being critical of parental authority, Christianity, abstinence, or Bush…). The plan has been simple – don’t focus on the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, and by all means, don’t teach true history. These very disciplines, well learned and strenuously practiced, might produce a generation that could actually hear a liberal argument, wrinkle their brow, and say, “That sounds Marxist.”

Wouldn’t want that.

Instead, replace those disciplines with left-leaning classes like: Government from a Hollywood perspective, Sensitivity Training and Getting Along with Others (otherwise known as Tolerance for Anything Immoral and Intolerant of Anything Resembling a Boundary), Environmental Obsession: The Planet is Doomed Because of You, and Liberal Geography: How to Stop Being a Greedy Imperialistic Western War Monger Who Uses Up all the Earth’s Resources . Diligence in these classes will ensure a visceral hatred for greedy Westerners (except those liberal democrats unfortunate enough to be living in the West), an accepting view of homosexuality (and all other forms of perversion), a pathological bent toward recycling, and (a requirement of all seniors) the ability to blame Bush for everything (this from the class that teaches that the Federalist Papers are found at your local head shop and used to roll a big fat one.)

Now properly propagandizing our youth and ensuring a voting base doesn’t come cheap. That’s why we constantly hear school officials say, “We are poorly funded”. That the schools are poorly funded is the biggest myth since…well, in this day and age, pick one. It’s not that the schools lack money, but rather, school officials lack the ability to distinguish between “poorly funded” and “mishandling of funds”. This is an intentional inability, mind you. Much like the “inability” of Ted Kennedy to drive sober.

Little FYI: School vouchers are anathema among Democrats because that would fall under the “mishandling of funds” category.

Think about it. The school gets in the ball park of $5,000 per kid. That’s some dough. Figure in the money a school gets by over-labeling the majority of boys with ADHD. And let’s not forget the money a school gets for each Native American student. Then there’s money for the physically disabled and the learning disabled. And this just in, add in the money they get for having students of military families (I learned about this one the other day from the local pub ed in our neighborhood. A little sheet went home with students who were military children. Apparently the school needs to be compensated for teaching the kids of the men dying for a liberal’s freedom to hate this country. I’m thinking the money would be better spent going to the grossly under-paid soldier’s family, but what do I know?)

Needless to say, I’m a little less than gracious when, in the Fall, I hear how the schools need donations for books and supplies. For what!! Have you seen the list of supplies the kids have to purchase? What happened to the days of the small cardboard pencil box with a few pencils, crayons, an eraser, and a mini-pack of Kleenex? By the way, those items were mine and mine alone, not community fodder. School room socialism has ended those days.

Are you getting it?

It’s time for a paradigm shift.

In America, and the rest of the “civilized world”, we suffer from a horrible inability to distinguish between wants and needs. (See “intentional inability” a few paragraphs up.) And what we really need, well, that becomes further obfuscated by what we want. And in an effort to secure those needs, Dad and Mom both work outside the home and Junior, at the ripe old age of 6 weeks, is shoved out of the nest and into the arms of the government nanny.

Enter America’s public education system.

Now, before anyone assails me with their cries of “I have to work”, humor me and just save it. I know several single mothers who work and still manage to home school their kids. It’s doable. Just re-channel all the energy you put into saving the environment and put it into your kids. Trust me when I say neither the trees nor the Osprey will be running this joint in the next ten to twenty years. It’ll be that kid strapped into the back seat of your car getting dropped off at pre-K (preparation for kindergarten??? Who is stupid enough to think a kid needs to prepared for…?) Do us all a favor, turn around and take him home.

And in an effort to stay comfortable (aka, work for our “needs”) Americans continually court the enemy of our children (aka, public schools). This behavior shouldn’t surprise; as a nation we do it with Islam. Islam teaches hatred of America and is responsible for the deaths of thousands, yet we light up the Empire State Building and call them a religion of peace. Public schools teach hatred of America and can boast the deaths of hundreds, yet we scurry our young into their immoral halls and call it education.

Honestly, I’m not sure which one is more dangerous, Islam or public education. Luckily, we won’t have to wrestle with that little quandary for long since the two have joined forces. But I digress.

Not wanting to be labeled as one who just sarcastically points out the faults of another without offering up solutions, I propose this: Give educating your children at home a shot. If that’s too radical for you, then enjoy the next twelve years trying to deprogram your child, because, if you’re conservative, that’s precisely what you’ll be doing.

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Bush to Tehran: Play Nice in the Pool

My Way News – US Protests Iran Harassment of US Ships

The American press is buzzing over Iran’s harassment of US Naval ships. I’ve got a newsflash for you: This isn’t new behavior on Iran’s part. And America doing nothing about the Islamic bullying of US ships in the Persian Gulf isn’t new either.

Iranian thugs do this sort of thing all the time. They get as close to the “line in the water” as they can and antagonize US ships on a regular basis. Why do they do this? Well, maybe they’re trying to protect their fishing rights. Or maybe it’s just plain funny. A couple cold beers (non-alcoholic, of course), a motor boat, a US Navy ship, and, best of all, no repercussions. It’s a made to order party Islamo-style.

Of course, Iran is denying the whole incident. Big surprise.

Iran denies its boats threatened the U.S. vessels, and accused Washington of fabricating its video. The Pentagon has dismissed that claim and warned that its ships would respond with force if threatened.

The grainy 5-minute, 20-second Iranian video shows a man speaking into a handheld radio, with three U.S. ships floating in the distance. It appeared to be shot from a small boat bobbing at least 100 yards from the American warships. But the footage does not show any Iranian boats approaching the U.S. vessels or any provocation.

Who you going to believe? The US Navy or an Iranian thug who barely passed PROP 101? My money is on the Navy. Let me guess, if you’re a liberal, it’s on the thug.

So, you ask, why didn’t the Navy just shoot those boats out of the water? Because political correctness has castrated our armed forces. When the sewer cover was removed and the top Saddam’s greasy head was found, that should have been the end of him. Instead he got jail time, a trial he tried to subvert, and, in the end, a noose. A bullet would have been more humane…for us all. That’s when I first started wondering just how serious the military was going to be allowed to get when it came to this “War on Terror”.

As long as the policy is to whine to Tehran and then foolishly expect the Islamic-terrorists-in-training to repent and stop bullying us, this kind of behavior will only escalate. And don’t blame the men on the Navy ship, by the way. They’d like nothing more than to hone their Halo skills on those guys. But they can’t because they might get court marshaled, dishonorably discharged, or denied promotion if they actually defend this country and it’s interests.

It is my fantasy that the next time an Iranian mini-boat drivers harasses a US ship they’ll get too close to one with a captain who loves his country, has the ability to support his family sans a government salary, and isn’t afraid to give the order, “Fire!” Oh, and while I’m dreaming, the press will applaud said captain, and he’ll get a ticker tape parade down Madison Avenue.

Then maybe he’ll run for president…

Columbia Profs Head to Iran for Enlightenment and a Little CYA

Columbia Profs to Visit Iran to Apologize to Ahmadinejad, Reports Say — 01/09/2008

Go ahead, tell me that liberals aren’t pathetically scared of Islamic thugs. The not-so-reliable-Iranian-rumor-mill has claims that in an effort to make sure they aren’t the recipients of a little jihad action, a gaggle of Columbia University professors are going to scamper to Iran’s Ahadinejad, and apologize for the reception he received last year when he visited the university. Apparently the fact that he wasn’t beheaded when he entered the United States wasn’t nice enough.

Volumes could be written about the way liberals in America apologize, appease, and practically sleep with our enemies, but I won’t get into that….though I’m pretty sure they’re also planning to apologize on behalf of the state of New York for not having runway lights on the Twin Towers.

Butt sharking aside, what I find fascinating is that they are going to visit Iranian universities and seminaries.

The Mehr News Agency quoted an unnamed member of the prospective delegation as saying the apology was the main aim of the trip, which would also include visits to Iranian universities and seminaries.

I’d call them enlightened but “hapless lemmings” seems a better fit.

No doubt, this roadside scene would birth the following conversation between moronic prof and Iranian taxi driver:

“Oh my! Are those real men hanging from those cranes?” asks the American guest as she snaps a few pictures with her camera phone.

“They voted for Bush.”

((sigh)) “Wish we could do that.”

There’s going to be a lot of Iranian eye-rolling while the Columbia elite pander and fawn over their hosts. And America, once again, is represented by morons. This has got to stop.

But back to Columbia’s professors visiting Iran’s universities…

Here is a sampling of some of the classes the Columbia faculty will be able to sit in on. No doubt they won’t pick up on the anti-American sentiment.

For the Poli-Sci enthusiast there’s:

PLS 111: International Relations: A study in the infrastructure of major American cities. Prerequisite: EXP 101: Introduction to Explosives (3 credits plus 1 lab credit)

PLS 203: American Politics: Infiltrating America One Vote at a Time (3 credits plus an indefinite internship as a New York cab driver or gas station owner in Oklahoma. Course can be completed via correspondence.)

PLS 303: Survey of the American Democratic Party: Understanding Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, and the Clintons (3 credits. A grade of 65% or higher is required for UN fellowship.)

For the J-School crowd:

PROP 101:Video Broadcasting: How to produce poor quality videos with subtitles. (3 credits)
PROP 400: Advanced Broadcasting: Adding sound and live hostages to poor quality videos with subtitles.
(3 credits plus 1 vestal virgin credit)

The Department of Women’s Studies will offer…nothing.

And this from the Humanities Department:

HUM 235: Communication in the Workplace: How to keep your head in Iran. (3 credits. Credits will be revoked in the event of execution.)

HUM 440: Human Rights: An Iranian Policy: Thirty minute slide show. (No credit)

Look for similar classes to be added to Columbia University’s course offerings in the next few years.