Today’s muse on the news is inspired by the Drudge Report
Inside the MTV/MySpace Forum: Edwards Looks Out for African-American Men
In an effort to protect African-American inner city kids from violence, presidential wannabe, John Edwards, is proposing that inner city neighborhoods be encircled with thirty-foot, barbed wire, electrified fences.
According to Edwards: “We can’t possibly build enough prisons to accommodate them, so our best option is to save the taxpayers some money by focusing on prevention. Since they’ll all end up dead or behind bars anyway, containing them now is the most humane and cost effective solution for everyone.”
A conservative reporter who, according to MTV/MySpace officials, gained unauthorized access into the forum, managed to ask one question before being bound, gagged, and drug out of the room. His question: “Isn’t that a rather racist comment Mr. Edwards?”
Not being put off in the least, Edwards smiled and said, “We all know who the superior race is. By keeping the aboriginal demographic contained, it enables us to protect them from themselves. Besides, it’s easier than busing them in when it comes time to vote.”
The Inside Scoop on Hillary’s Baby Bond Plan
Just when we thought Hillary couldn’t be more generous with our money, the reigning Democratic Presidential candidate is aiming to forcefully raise our benevolence another notch. Mrs. Clinton is proposing a $5,000 bond for every baby born in the U.S.
When asked how she planned to pay for this multi-billion dollar bribe Mrs. Clinton replied, “It’s simple really. Thanks to my influence in improving the working conditions in the abortion industry by protecting the abortionists’ right to work, we in America are close to being able to boast aborting more babies than we are delivering. If we continue on my master plan of abortions finally outnumbering live births, the paying out the $5,000 bonds will be quite manageable.”
Pelosi: Border Fence Isn’t Nice
Rep. Pelosi thinks a border fence is a terrible idea. “But,” she said, “I would support Mr. Edward’s idea of putting fences around African-American inner city neighborhoods.”