Month: September 2007

Musing the News

Today’s muse on the news is inspired by the Drudge Report

Inside the MTV/MySpace Forum: Edwards Looks Out for African-American Men

The Campaign Spot on National Review Online

In an effort to protect African-American inner city kids from violence, presidential wannabe, John Edwards, is proposing that inner city neighborhoods be encircled with thirty-foot, barbed wire, electrified fences.

According to Edwards: “We can’t possibly build enough prisons to accommodate them, so our best option is to save the taxpayers some money by focusing on prevention. Since they’ll all end up dead or behind bars anyway, containing them now is the most humane and cost effective solution for everyone.

A conservative reporter who, according to MTV/MySpace officials, gained unauthorized access into the forum, managed to ask one question before being bound, gagged, and drug out of the room. His question: “Isn’t that a rather racist comment Mr. Edwards?”

Not being put off in the least, Edwards smiled and said, “We all know who the superior race is. By keeping the aboriginal demographic contained, it enables us to protect them from themselves. Besides, it’s easier than busing them in when it comes time to vote.”

The Inside Scoop on Hillary’s Baby Bond Plan

Clinton: $5,000 for Every U.S. Baby

Just when we thought Hillary couldn’t be more generous with our money, the reigning Democratic Presidential candidate is aiming to forcefully raise our benevolence another notch. Mrs. Clinton is proposing a $5,000 bond for every baby born in the U.S.

When asked how she planned to pay for this multi-billion dollar bribe Mrs. Clinton replied, “It’s simple really. Thanks to my influence in improving the working conditions in the abortion industry by protecting the abortionists’ right to work, we in America are close to being able to boast aborting more babies than we are delivering. If we continue on my master plan of abortions finally outnumbering live births, the paying out the $5,000 bonds will be quite manageable.”

Pelosi: Border Fence Isn’t Nice

Rep. Pelosi criticizes border fence – USATODAY.com

Rep. Pelosi thinks a border fence is a terrible idea. “But,” she said, “I would support Mr. Edward’s idea of putting fences around African-American inner city neighborhoods.”

Columbia University: Ahmadinejad and Hitler Fan Club Headquarters

YouTube – Sure we’d invite Hitler to speak, says Columbia dean

ht: Matt Drudge

The dean of Columbia University claims that the university would let Hitler come in and speak if he’d engage in a debate with students and faculty.

Debate? Who in the student body or faculty of Columbia would debate Hitler? As will surely be the case with Ahmadinejad, Hitler would enjoy a huge fan base rather than a forum for debate. Who’s kidding who?

A careful search of the Columbia University Lexicon cleared things up for me. The Columbian meaning of debate is “love-fest” when used in conjunction with terrorists, despots, and liberal media types. However, the meaning of debate translates into “lynching” when used in conjunction with creation scientists, evangelicals, and anyone of a conservative bent.

When dealing with these types, it’s best to learn the lingo.

Public Education: Sanctioned Child Abuse

FOXNews.com – Florida Teachers Accused of Making Older Kids Beat Up Younger Students – Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

This dandy little episode is compliments of America’s public education system.

It should be considered child abuse to put your kids in public school.

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Bush Hating 101: Product of Higher Education

FOXNews.com – Colorado State University Student Newspaper Under Fire for Bush Editorial – Politics | Republican Party | Democratic Party | Political Spectrum

A two-word editorial in the September 21 edition of the Colorado State University student newspaper, The Collegian, saying, “(expletive) Bush.” was an exercise in “free speech and random acts of kindness” explained the newspaper’s editor-in-chief, David McSwane.

“We strive to put out a paper that is kind, balanced, and fair, unlike today’s talk radio. Our intentions were not malicious.” Truly perplexed, McSwane continued, ” We don’t understand how anyone would get that idea.”

Unable to rely on common sense and decency, the seven students on the editorial staff resorted to rock-paper-scissors in an effort to decide whether or not to run the editorial. When that ended in a tie, the students, still unable to discern right from wrong, finally cast votes. After a split vote the editorial went to press. McSwane recalls, “There were chads everywhere! We really wanted to do the right thing.”

The university plans to investigate the editorial, said Jeff Brown, CSU’s director of student media.

“We find it unnecessary and unbefitting the proud 116-year tradition of the Collegian. We are conducting an internal investigation into the decision-making process used…in choosing to run today’s staff editorial comment.”

Brown continued , “In the tradition of the internal investigations undertaken by our blessed Democratic party, we will work diligently to clean house, make excuses, and strive for a higher standard.”

According to FOX News, “University officials released a statement explaining their concern for response to the editorial, and that it has no control over its student media.”

“As long as students pay their tuition and vote Democrat, we really don’t care what they write. We expect them to make sound, responsible decisions that are unbiased and lean heavily to the left. That is the goal of higher education, and that is the goal of CSU.”

Ahmadinejad to Get Key to NYC

FOXNews.com – New York Braces for Controversial Visit of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

Looks like we’ll be rolling out the carpet for yet another terrorist. After receiving the key to the city, Ahmadinejad will be escorted by Senator Hillary Clinton to Ground Zero to admire the crater left behind by his cohorts.

When asked if Ahmadinejad’s visit to Ground Zero might be viewed as tactless, heartless, and just a really bad idea, Ms. Clinton’s publicist reportedly sent out this erroneous statement:

“It is unacceptable for Iranian President Ahmadinejad, who refuses to renounce and end his own country’s support of terrorism, to visit the site of the deadliest terrorist attack on American soil in our nation’s history.”

After her publicist went missing, Ms. Clinton, with philanthropist George Soros reassuringly by her side, held a press conference and issued this corrected statement:

“We are trying to take everyone’s feelings into consideration, especially our fellow American-Iranians. We want President Ahmadinejad to feel welcome in America and know that all Demorats…I mean, Americans will embrace him with open arms. After all, my main goal starting in 2008 is to work toward building a global alliance for an open society.
After our honored guest is finished spewing hatred toward Mr. Bush at Columbia University, the wonderful city of New York is having a huge festival in his honor. There will be carnival rides, balloons, and funnel cake for the kids.”

When asked if President Bush would be in attendance at the “festival”, Ms. Clinton said,

“Unfortunately Mr. Bush is too busy sending our troops to die in a futile war against so-called terrorists. Sadly, Mr. Bush wouldn’t know a terrorist if one flew into our country and killed thousands of Americans.”

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Iran’s Ahmadinejad Learns Rhetoric From the Democrats

Only a Democrat can appreciate this kind of double-talk:

Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad-the Peaceful Muslim :

  • Iran wants “peace and friendship for all,”
  • Iranians do not believe in war and consider it a “last resort,”
  • We think peace should exist.
  • “We want friendship — friendship to all. We love all nations and all human beings. Anyone who is killed, we are against it.”
  • “We do not need a bomb. We are against bombs, actually.

Ahmadinejad-the Peaceful Muslim?

  • Israel… “cannot continue its life.”
  • In regard to Isreal, which Ahmadinejad has said should be politically “wiped off the map,”